This show is supposed to be a one-off show from General Hospital.  That means they run on 2 different timelines (hence why Spinelli has a foot injury on Night Shift and none on the regular daytime show).  It also means that as a viewer, if you’ve never seen General Hospital, you’re not supposed to worry because these characters, which recurring from a show that you might not have ever seen, will be introduced to you.

Let’s not talk about the fact that the show didn’t give us the names of half the characters until way after the first half of the show.  Let’s talk about what we know about these characters based on what we’ve seen on screen (and I’m going based on the 2 episodes I’ve seen).

Robin is a preachy, moralizing HIV positive Doctor who only steps down from her soapbox long enough to be jealous that her boyfriend, Patrick, a doctor within the same hospital, with whom she has sexual relations with in the public showers, is a womanizing, ego-maniacal pretty boy who doesn’t listen when people talk because it’s all about him. 

Spinelli is a chattering ninny who doesn’t realize he’s embarrassing himself and others with his incessant metaphorical double talk, which only he understands because he doesn’t get that not everyone is as nerdy and geeky as he is. 

Epiphany is an aggressive black bitch who doesn’t support her son, Stan, who fancies himself the next Ché Guevera.

Never mind that Robin has trust issues and that Patrick has family issues.  Never mind that Spinelli just wants to fit in because he’s been on the outside his whole life.  Never mind that Epiphany was a single mother who battled cancer to raise her son so that he could have a good life, and he chose to use his talents to work for the Mob.

If I were a first time viewer, I wouldn’t give a rat’s ass about any of these characters.  They are all being written so horribly.  And don’t even get me started on the “new” characters, like Dr. Julian and the 3 student nurses, Jolene, Regina, and Layla.  There’s no depth to them at all.   

And then the story lines.

Why do we care that Maxie’s scared about this staph infection she’s gotten?  We don’t know whose borrowed heart she has.  Also, the last time we saw her, she was having sex in a supply closet and not really apologetic about it.

Why do we care that the burn victim in the ambulance knows Jason and that her last name is Barrett? 

Now, the fact that I do know these characters isn’t really making the show any better for me.  In fact, quite the opposite.  While I love Spinelli and Jason together on screen, the writing for this show isn’t on par with GH (and that’s saying  A LOT considering how subpar the writing on GH has become lately) and the dialogue isn’t as funny or witty.

I think I can honestly say that I haven’t found one redeeming thing about this show yet whatsoever.  Which means that I’ll most likely stop watching it after episode 3.  Maybe I’ll catch it when it repeats on SoapNet (and then you’ll get another ranting post) but otherwise, I’m not going out of my way to tape it anymore.

Honestly, this show just keeps getting worse and worse. I’m not going to even bother recapping. I’m just going to give you the recaplet.

  • Maxie develops a staph infection from her supply closet tryst with Coop. Because she has a borrowed heart, this presents a problem, but Dr. Julian is there to watch over her and keep her safe.
  • Spinelli tries to show off in front of Jolene (that would be the blonde Nurse Crowell) but to no avail since Jolene is smitten with Jason.
  • Stan tries to incite the hospital worker’s to rise up against The Man but hits a stumbling block in the form of Epiphany.
  • Toussant (that’s Lando) spends less time being an actual janitor and spends more time dispensing wisdom (he’s like Yoda! did ya see how I did that? tied that whole Star Wars thing together?).
  • Robin is a jealous hag and Patrick is a clueless male yet they forgive each other by the end of the show.
  • Dr. Ford is a jackass and reams Regina a new one for a clerical error that wasn’t hers.
  • Mrs. Storch stabbed herself chopping broccolli. Seriously.
  • Burn Victim Woman says Jason’s name.

I’m not even remotely close to being done with this recap but I thought I’d put up what I do have. For some reason, recapping this one hour weekly show took 6 pages (front and back) while recapping the one hour daily show only took 3 pages (front and back).
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General Hospital: Night Shift debuts tonight on SoapNet. For those of you unfortunate enough not to get that channel, I will be recapping the show. And I promise that I will do better than I did recapping GH because of one main reason: it’s a weekly show, not a daily one.

  • Elizabeth tells Lucky that this dick-measuring contest he has with Jason has to stop because it’s not getting Jake home any quicker. Okay, she totally doesn’t say it like that but I really wish she would’ve.
  • Jax is being held at gunpoint in a bar when Carly comes sauntering in, pretending to be Jerry 2.0’s wife. She gets Jax out of the gun’s way and then berates him for choosing Jerry 2.0 over his family.
  • Kate sets off the fire alarm at Not Starbucks, which kills the mood for Sonny and Amelia. Sonny fires his barista for leaving the door unlocked. While talking about Kristina with Alexis, Alexis finds an earring and Sonny then confronts Kate about setting off the fire alarm. Meanwhile, Kate’s trying to get advice on how to get rid of feelings she has for Sonny. Well, this sucks. I had hoped that they would have more of a sparring relationship first which then turned into a begruding friendship and then into a romance, but I guess that’s too much planning ahead for the writers.
  • Jason wants Spinelli to bust him out of jail so he can go find Jake. Spinelli won’t do it. Jason gets a visit from Elizabeth and comforts her about her fight with Lucky. Jason then gets a visit from Sam, who tells him that she’s known about Jake’s parentage for weeks.
  • Alexis confronts Amelia about Sam’s contract, which leads to a discussion about Sam and then Amelia shows Alexis Sam’s file.

Recaplet for Friday, June 22, 2007:

  • Sam chickens out about telling Lucky that Jake isn’t his son. She also doesn’t tell Jason that she knows the truth.
  • Amelia lies to Ric and says that Sam was at the station.
  • A baby was left on the doorstep of a child care center in a neighboring town but it turns out not to be Jake. Elizabeth is devastated and so is Lucky and he blows up at Elizabeth for seeking comfort from Jason. You know, I don’t fault Lucky for being upset that his kid is missing but he really needs a swift kick in the ass.
  • Sonny has more sex with Amelia.
  • Kate wants Sonny to date someone to get the press off her back. He agrees to do this for her.

Recaplet for Thursday, June 21, 2007:

  • Lucky and Elizabeth argue some more about Jake’s kidnapping.
  • Sam drunkenly finds her way to Elizabeth’s to commiserate about losing a baby. She then hightails it to the PCPD to talk to Lucky.
  • Jax and Carly go to Montreal and Jax surprises her with a deed to a mansion to rennovate to turn into a boutique hotel. Carly is suspicious.
  • Sonny tells Diane about Jason being the father of Jake.
  • Ric hauls Logan in to the PCPD under the guise of unpaid parking tickets but wants him to be a mole in Sonny’s organization.
  • Kate wants Sonny to start dating someone to take the tabloid focus away from her non-existant relationship with him.

Recaplet for Wednesday, June 20, 2007:

  • Lucky and Elizabeth fight about Jake’s kidnapping.
  • Jax plans something and doesn’t tell Carly.
  • Sam gets drunk and pretty much pisses in Carly’s cornflakes.
  • Spinelli tells Jason about Sam not wanting him to look for surveillance footage and about the baby clothes she got sent to her. Jason doesn’t want to believe Sam would do anything but he wants Spinelli to keep an eye on her just in case.
  • Hey, the 3ooges are back, if only for a scene.
  • Edward tries to have Lainey commit Tracy to Shadybrook.

I caught another cold so I know the recaps this week will suffer because of it. And I’m still behind about 2 weeks now worth of recaps.

It’s starting to become a chore to watch the show, take notes, then recap the show. It’s times like these that a laptop would serve me well. So, I’ve decided at this point just to do recaplets. Recapping a daily show is just so taxing. I still have several recaps to put up so they will go up when I get a chance.

I just want to say thanks to my reader(s) for sticking through this with me for so long.

Recaplet for Tuesday, June 19, 2007:

  • There’s a lot of running around, either looking for Jake, or finding out that Jake’s been taken. Nikolas and Carly both suspect Jerry 2.0. Lulu, Spinelli, and Elizabeth think someone found out about Jake’s real father and took him. Jason and Sonny suspect Sam, as does Amelia. I think Amelia hired that Maureen woman to kidnap the baby.